Unleashed — Embracing Joyful Invisibility

Hello travellers, ever caught yourself in public feeling like you’re under a spotlight? Maybe you’re sporting a daring new outfit or awkwardly trying to figure out how to use the self-checkout at the supermarket. Your cheeks flush you’re convinced every shopper and their gran is secretly judging your fumbling attempts with the barcode scanner. But guess what? They’re probably too busy wrestling with their own self-checkout drama to even notice you. Welcome to the liberating world of “joyful invisibility.”

What is Joyful Invisibility?

Joyful invisibility ain’t about donning an invisibility cloak or becoming a hermit. Nope it’s the liberating realisation that in the grand scheme of things most folks are too wrapped up in their own drama to pay much attention to you. It’s about using this knowledge to be happy and free to do or be whatever floats your boat. You’re “joyfully invisible” to others and that’s flippin’ fantastic!

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t this just blissful ignorance with a fancy new name?” Well sure if blissful ignorance suddenly got a PhD in self-awareness and decided to use its powers for good. It’s like blissful ignorance’s cooler wiser cousin who actually gets invited to parties.

The Subtle Art of Selective F*ck-Giving

Mark Manson’s bestseller “The Art of Not Giving a F*ck” isn’t just a catchy title it’s a life philosophy that dovetails beautifully with joyful invisibility. Manson’s core argument? We’ve only got so many f*cks to give in this life so we better use ’em wisely.

Think of your f*cks as a limited currency. You wouldn’t blow your life savings on plastic flamingos for your yard (unless that’s your thing no judgment here). So why waste your precious f*cks on what random strangers think about your new haircut?

Joyful invisibility takes Manson’s concept and runs with it. It’s not just about conserving your f*cks it’s about investing them in things that truly matter to you. It’s like being a f*ck economist maximising your return on investment.

Imagine walking down the street and instead of worrying about every glance your way you’re too busy planning your next adventure or savouring that delicious sandwich you just ate. That’s the power of joyful invisibility combined with selective f*ck-giving.

When you stop giving so many f*cks about what others think you suddenly have all this extra mental energy. It’s like finding an extra room in your house that you never knew existed. What will you do with all that space? Learn to juggle? Write that novel? Finally master the art of folding fitted sheets? The possibilities are endless!

Flashback to Fearless Youth: Eyeliner Chronicles

Picture this: It’s 2006. Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day” is inescapable Arctic Monkeys are taking over the indie scene and I’m a fresh-faced 22-year-old with dreams of looking like a rock star… or at least like I could name more than three rock stars.

There I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror eyeliner in hand. Not the fancy stuff mind you. We’re talking drugstore black eyeliner that probably contained trace amounts of lead. Safety standards were more of a suggestion back then.

With the steadiness of a surgeon performing a delicate operation (if that surgeon had knocked back three tequilas and was operating during an earthquake) I applied a thin line of black around my eyes. The result? Let’s just say any rock band front man would’ve been proud. Or horrified. It was a fine line.

Fast forward to the tube ride into London. There I sat next to my mate who decided my eyeliner game needed some touch-ups. So there we were two grown men on public transportation one applying makeup to the other like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Did people stare? Probably. Did some banker in a crisp suit roll his eyes? Most likely. Did I care? Not one bit. Because I knew that after a few stops I’d be forgotten just another face in the crowd. That’s joyful invisibility in action!

Looking back I can’t help but laugh at the audacity of it all. But you know what? That eyeliner-wearing kid had something figured out that many of us forget as we get older: the joy of not giving a f*ck about what others think.

So here’s to that fearless youth with his wonky eyeliner and zero concerns about public opinion. May we all channel a bit of that spirit in our daily lives. Who knows? Maybe I’ll bust out the eyeliner again. After all what’s the worst that could happen? Actually don’t answer that. Some things are better left to the imagination.

The Great Reinvention Reset

Now you might be thinking “That’s all well and good for a carefree 22-year-old but I’ve got bills responsibilities and a reputation to uphold.”ife has a way of piling on expectations quick.

As we get older we often lose that freedom to reinvent ourselves. We get stuck in our ways trapped by other people’s expectations. But here’s the thing: joyful invisibility can be our ticket back to that reset button.

Want to reinvent yourself? Go for it! Thinking about quitting drinking while your friends question your choices? Do it anyway! We reset and reinvent ourselves all the time when we’re younger. Why should that stop just because we’ve got a few more candles on our birthday cake?

The Booze Blunder

Now, let’s chat about the elephant in the room — or should I say, the bottle on the bar? For many of us, myself included, the path to joyful invisibility took a detour through Alcohol Avenue. And lemme tell ya, it was one heck of a damaging tour that stuck around like an uninvited houseguest for way too many years.

Picture this: You’re at a party, feeling like a fish outta water. Someone hands you a drink and suddenly… poof! Your inhibitions vanish faster than free samples at Tescos. You’re chatting up strangers, cracking jokes, dancing like nobody’s business.

Booze seemed like a shortcut to joyful invisibility. It numbed the self-doubt, muted the inner critic, and made you feel invincible. For a while, it worked like a charm. That boozy elixir morphed into my secret weapon for vanishing social anxiety. But what started as an occasional crutch turned into a full-blown addiction faster than you could say “just one more round.”

Years went by, and that damaging tour through alcohol land became my new normal. It was like being stuck on a merry-go-round that spun way too fast, but I couldn’t figure out how to get off. Friendships, jobs, self-respect — they all took a hit. And the worst part? I thought I was invisible, but I was actually making myself more visible in all the wrong ways.

Unlike true joyful invisibility, this alcohol-induced version came with a hefty price tag. Hangovers. Regrettable texts. The sinking feeling when fragments of last night’s karaoke performance start flooding back. Not to mention the toll it took on my health, relationships, and overall life trajectory.

Worse still, relying on alcohol for confidence is like using a credit card for all your purchases. It feels great in the moment, but eventually, the bill comes due. With interest! And boy, did that interest accumulate over the years.

Realising this was a turning point, but it isnt an instant fix. Getting rid of this unwelcome companion takes time, effort, and more than a few stumbles. But eventually, I’m understanding that true joyful invisibility isn’t about numbing yourself to the world. It’s about being fully present, fully yourself, and yet wonderfully unencumbered by others’ opinions.

So I made the choice to ditch the booze and embrace sober joyful invisibility. Is it easy? Hell no. It was like trying to untangle Christmas lights in the dark while wearing oven mitts. But was it worth it? erm… maybe, it’s early days.

Now, when I feel that surge of confidence or moment of not giving a f*ck, it’s all me. No artificial flavors required. And let me tell you, it feels pretty damn good. That damaging tour through alcohol land? It’s becoming more distant in my rearview mirror, and the road ahead looks brighter than ever.

Stoic Wisdom in Modern Life

This whole joyful invisibility thing? It’s not just some newfangled idea. The ancient Stoics were all over this concept centuries ago. Take Marcus Aurelius for instance.

He said “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realise this and you will find strength.”

Epictetus another Stoic philosopher dropped this gem:

“It’s not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters.”

These dudes were basically preaching joyful invisibility before it was cool. They understood that true freedom comes from within not from external validation.

Breaking Free from the “That’s Not You” Trap

I know what you’re thinking, because I think it all the time! “But what about when I try to change and people tell me ‘that’s not you’?” Yeah that’s a tough one. It’s like we’re all stuck in some bizarre high school yearbook where we’re forever defined by our pictures.

You’re not a static character in someone else’s story. You’re the protagonist in your own epic tale and protagonists evolve! So next time someone says “that’s not you” just smile and think “You have no idea who I am or who I’m becoming.”

Joyful invisibility isn’t about disappearing. It’s about showing up as your full authentic self without fear of judgment. It’s about reclaiming that youthful ability to reinvent yourself on a whim. It’s about understanding that in the vast cosmic dance we’re all just extras in each other’s lives — so we might as well dance like no one’s watching (because honestly they probably aren’t).

So go ahead wear that outrageous outfit. Try that new hobby. Speak your mind. Be gloriously imperfect. Because in embracing your joyful invisibility you might just discover the most visible vibrant version of yourself.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got some eyeliner to apply. Who knows? Maybe I’ll start a trend… or bring one back?!

Stoic perspective on joyful invisibility:

The Stoic approach to joyful invisibility aligns closely with the concept of focusing on what’s within our control and letting go of external judgments. This idea resonates with Epictetus’ teaching about differentiating between what we can and cannot change. True joy, from a Stoic perspective, comes from within and is not dependent on others’ perceptions or external circumstances.

Relevant quote:

Seneca wisely said,

“Trust me, real joy is a serious thing.”

This quote reminds us that authentic joy is not about fleeting pleasures or constant cheerfulness, but a deep, inner contentment that comes from living in accordance with our values and virtues.

Practical Stoic exercise:

Practice the “Invisible Observer” meditation:

1. Find a busy public place and sit quietly.
2. Observe the people around you without judgment.
3. Remind yourself that just as you’re not focusing on judging them, they’re likely not focused on judging you.
4. Reflect on how this realisation can free you to be your authentic self.

This exercise helps cultivate a sense of detachment from others’ opinions and reinforces the Stoic principle of focusing on what’s within our control — our own thoughts and actions.

Stoic thought for the day:

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” — Marcus Aurelius

This thought encapsulates the essence of joyful invisibility from a Stoic perspective. By focusing on cultivating positive, virtuous thoughts and attitudes, we can find joy and contentment regardless of how visible or invisible we may be to others. It reminds us that our inner world is the true source of our happiness and fulfillment.